A Hidden Love
by Leon-reynauld
Summary: After the final battle, Harry dies, but before he does he leaves a letter with Ginny, a letter that confesses a secret he had been keeping since his first year at Hogwarts.


**A hidden love**

She sat on the glorious steps of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. She was recollecting her time spent here, sure it was not always great, but it did have its moments. Her first year was still so fresh in her mind, especially now, when the person that saved her lay motionless in a glass box in the great hall here. There were other times though, like the time in her fifth year, when he had just come back from the quidditch game, when she had flung herself at him, and when he had passionately kissed her in front of all the Gryffindors. That was the start of her best year in Hogwarts.

His life had finally come to an end, something no one thought would happen. He always seemed nearly immortal, always managing to get out of the tightest spots with the least damage possible. Yet it seemed his luck had finally come to an end. He had sacrificed himself for the wizarding world, a world that seemed to have little thanks in regards to what he had done. The ministry had taken a large slice of the credit for what he had done, stating that the aurors were instrumental in the defeat of the dark lord. She knew the truth though, it was him, it was him and the people he had called friends, a large number of them being the ones he had trained himself, including herself.

The battle was tough, chaotic and above all else hazardous to the lives of people from both sides. She was one of his inner circle, which meant that she was in the midst of the battle. Her, along with Hermione, Ron, Neville and Luna were fighting the inner circle of the opposite side, this made up of Malfoy Sr., Nott Sr., Bellatrix, her husband and her brother in-law. He never even batted an eye at the fighting around him as he approached his arch nemesis, the most feared Dark Lord of the times.

She had found out that he, her brother and Hermione had completed their self assigned mission. It was this mission that she credited her break up with him on. The details of the mission, she had only found out after they had returned upon completion of said mission. Apparently the mission had them destroying objects that had been imbued with the soul of Voldemort, they had called it a Hocrux, and apparently the diary that had possessed her in her first year was one of them. It was this items that gave the semblance of immortality to Voldemort, it was this items that stopped Voldemort from dieing the first night he had met Harry Potter, all those years ago when he had been given the title of the Boy Who Lived.

She was still fighting when he had intercepted Voldemort. She could tell that words were exchanged, but she was concentrating on the battle too much to actually pay attention to what was being said. She assumed that Voldemort probably taunted him, after all, the stories that he had told her always had Voldemort taunt him before they fought. The battle between them started right after that. She could remember still feeling awe at what little she had seen from the corner of her eye. Both their speeds were incredible, she could not see them move properly, they were both blurs in motion, where they had once been would be followed by the lights created by spells passing that area. Surrounding them appeared to be a vortex, the vortex being creating by the wind which was caused by the incredible speed, the leaves on the floor were picked up by the wind and twirled around them. If one were to have looked properly they would have noticed that the vortex would also absorb the spells that had missed both individuals. Within the vortex many different colours could be seen, the colours caused by both wizards shooting a variety of spells, each trying to get the upper hand on their opponent. There were a few times she could pick out the sickly green glow of the killing curse from within the vortex. Suddenly the vortex collapsed, the death eater in front of her then fell, she could not take credit for it though, if she was being honest to herself, she was losing after all, no the death eater had collapsed clutching its arm. For a moment she was ecstatic, as she looked around she could see that all the other death eaters were serving the same fate, all of them collapsing, all of them clutching their arms, then she turned towards where the vortex was, where Harry was, only to find him sprawled on the floor, a bloody mess.

She ran, she ran as fast as her feet could take her. She reached him to see that his eyes were focused on her, she knew that he would not survive, his injuries were too severe, yet she called out for help, she screamed at the top of her lungs for help. People were running towards here direction. Before anyone could reach her though, she noticed that Harry had pulled something out of his pocket, his eyes motioning to her to take it as he was to weak to talk. She reached down to take it, her other hand went to hold his hand, tears were falling freely from her eyes now as she realized that the love of her life was going away forever. She saw as he took his last breath, just moment before Ron reached her side. His eye lids closed then, as his hand fell from her grasp, onto the grass that covered the field. Yes, Voldemort was dead but he had brought Harry along to the land of the dead as he had died.

* * *

So here she sat, on the steps of Hogwarts, a week after the battle holding the last thing Harry had given to her. It was a letter, still unopened. It was addressed to her, something that she found strange. Why would he have written her a letter, yes they did date, but she knew he never loved her, if he did why would he have dumped her, so what could he write to her about. Even though she felt this way, she still felt nervous, after all, this was probably Harry's last words. This was probably the last thing he wrote before he had died.

She slowly and carefully opened the envelope, taking great care, she took out the letter.

_My dearest Ginny,_

_Can I even still call you that, dearest I mean, can I even call you mine anymore, after all it was my fault that we are not together anymore. I write this letter because I feel that my time is close to an end. The final battle looms closer, the order believes that it might be tomorrow, so here I sit writing this letter to you. As I write this letter you are downstairs, most probably playing with Crookshanks._

_I am writing this letter to confess something that I have hidden from everybody, something that you are the cause off. You see, when I had first come to the Hogwarts express all those years ago, I saw a little girl, a girl that had tears running down a cheek because she could not follow her brothers to Hogwarts. The girl had heard that I was on the train, she had begged her mother to see me, but her mother told her she could not. At that time, I had been disappointed, I too had wanted to meet this girl. When I first saw her I was mesmerized, she was beautiful, her eyes were bright brown, her hair, flaming red. Throughout the train ride I could not stop thinking about her, even though her brother had joined me in the compartment I was in, along with the other distractions that I was met with._

_During the year I dreamt about her most nights that I slept. I was afraid to tell her brother about my infatuation with his sister as he seemed like the protective big brother type. So I was resigned to only see her in my dreams and memories. In those dreams she would look at me with so much love that my heart would melt. The year ended though without me seeing her at all._

_Then that summer, when the twins had come to rescue me from the prison that my relatives had created for me I had another chance to see her. When I arrived at their house, I was greeted with so much love from her mother, the matriarch of the family, but all I could think of was seeing her again. Then as I was having breakfast she came down, I remember she gave a small squeal and ran back upstairs, I was disappointed. Then she came down again, and this time she joined us for breakfast. I could tell that she was nervous in my presence, a clear sign was her placing her elbow in the butter dish, she could not know however that I was just as, maybe even more, nervous in her presence. She seemed even more beautiful up close, yet I found that she barely talked in front of me. The little she did though had allowed me to hear her voice, to me that voice was the sound of an angel._

_I had gone with her family to Diagon Alley that summer. I had several mishaps happen to me there. However the clearest thing I can remember till this day is when I had exited the book shop after an embarrassing display caused by a man named Lockhart. A boy in my year had come up to me and had insulted me, but before I could say anything back, the girl had stood up for me, I can never write in words how much that had meant to me._

_Second year started, and she had joined the student body. I did notice that she was recluse there. Her complexion had gotten paler when during the year. I had associated that with the event happening at that time and her being scared that something might happen to her. I too was worried about her. However, it seemed that I had not noticed her enough. You see, I should have noticed her write in her diary, I should have seen what the diary really was. Not once at that time had I seen her write in the diary though, and again I cannot tell you how sorry I am for not noticing any of that. Near the end of the year the girl went missing. Through my sneaking around I had found out that she was brought down to the chamber of secrets, my heart dropped when I had found that out. I knew one thing though, I needed to save her, her brother only encouraged me to do it. We had quickly gotten a professor to help us, unfortunately, it was Lockhart, he was more of a burden rather then a help though. It was because of him that her brother could not follow me down to the actual chamber and save her._

_As I entered the chamber I saw her, she was laying motionless on the floor, I ran to her, all the time thinking 'please don't let her be dead' at some time my thought was voiced out to no one in particular. Then Tom came out of the shadow and revealed himself for who he really was. I knew I had to fight him to save you, however I never dreamed of fighting a gigantic snake. In the end I did, it was but a small price to pay for her continual living. I almost failed though, the snake had bitten into me, its poison had seeped into my blood, all I could think of though was saving you. I managed to stab the fang that had bitten me into the cursed diary in the end though. It was at this time that I discovered that I loved her, however it was at this time I had also come to a decision. I had decided that I would hide my love from her and the world, it was for her own safety, after all she was brought down to the chamber only because Tom wanted to lure me there._

_I managed to hide my love for her well for the first year after that event, especially because of the events that happened then. That year every one believed that I liked Cho Chang, and indeed that was my intention. I wanted to make sure no one even suspected that I had feelings for the girl that I truly loved._

_In my fourth year everything was going smoothly. I had a plan, you see I had purposely not gotten a date, I even went so far to ask Cho Chang to the ball, knowing that Cedric Diggory was already taking her. I was hoping that her brother would ask her to go with me, and in fact he did, unfortunately for me that was to late already, another boy had asked her. I can not tell you how sad I was then. I remember her in the ball, even though her gown was second hand she still looked like an angel. When she had first come down from he dormitory to the common room I was speechless, I was hiding in the corner so that she couldn't see me, but I could see her, oh how I could see her. As the ball continued on I kept stealing glances at her, always cringing as I saw her date step on her toes as they danced, always wishing that I could be the one dancing with her instead._

_The next year I had gotten to spend more time with her as I was taken from my relative's house and brought to headquarters. She seemed more relaxed around me this year, and I found my self enjoying my time with her around. However my world came crashing down on me when school had started. I found out that this girl was over me. I had always hoped that one day we would be together, unfortunately it seemed my love would always remain unrequited. I still loved her though, and I would still do anything in my power to keep her safe. Unfortunately, during the end of that year she had insisted upon accompanying me along with several other people to save my Sirius. We had taken testrals to the ministry, there we were cornered. It was there that I had failed her again. I had let her get hurt again. To make matters worse Sirius was killed that day too. Suffice it to say that that day was not a good one._

_The year after that was probably my happiest year besides certain events happening. It started off bad though. At the start of that year she was dating a guy. I hated to see them together, people assumed that it was because I was taking on the role of a protective brother. I despised Dean at that time, he had the what I wanted the most, he had the love of my life. Then there was the day that I was helping Dumbledore obtain something, I had taken Felix Felicis to help with the task, I then had to pass her and her boyfriend to leave the common room, unexpectedly it was there that the argument started between them that led to their break up, again I blame my self, however know that 1 am not sorry for that. Later that year when I had come back from a quidditch when she flung herself on me, it was purely friendly though, but all that year I was loosing control over my feelings, I could not help it, I kissed her. That kiss led us to start dating, and I was in bliss. She was perfect, my love for her grew more and more, everyday I was with her was a good day. Then our headmaster was killed, at his funeral I knew what I had to do, I had to do what I had decided long ago, hide my love from her again, and so I broke it off with her._

_After that I barely saw her, I was away most of the time. Hermione, Ron and I were on a mission, sometime I cursed that fact, other times I would rejoice that fact. The mission had both allowed me to keep my distance from you but it also kept me from seeing you. It was a trying time then. _

_Now I sit here, knowing that soon my time will be up. I don't know how I know, but I can feel it. I will take Voldemort with me so he won't be a threat. As you can see from this letter Ginny, I have loved you for so long. Never doubt that I did not. That is my confession to you. I know that you never truly loved me as much as I loved you. I could never think about dating anybody else but you ever since I discovered I loved you. I don't blame you though Ginny, and I write this letter just to tell you how you had always brightened up my life not to make you feel bad. Seeing you everyday had made life worth living, and so I shall end this letter with two things to day Thank you and I will always love you._

_Yours forever_

_Harry Potter_

She dropped the letter, completely in shock, her face wet with tears. He had loved her, he had loved her so much. How could she have never seen that? She, the one to claim that she knew him better then she knew herself, she, the one that had always observed him from the first time she had met him. She could not stop the tears. Her heart lay in a million pieces. She had always believed that her love for him was always unrequited. She had even told Hermione that she was over him, knowing that Hermione would tell him. Now she saw how much pain that had caused him. So there she sat on the glorious steps of Hogwarts, now wishing that she could have a second chance with the love of her life, but knowing that it was too late.


End file.
